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Well, here we are…a few weeks out from our New Year’s Resolutions. How are you doing?

Just a question…did you happen to make your resolution this year the same as last year…. and maybe the year before? But this time you’re finally, really, truly going to do it!?

Yeah…me too.

What in the world are we doing? What are we missing here?

We all know what we need to do. But common sense isn’t always common practice.

So how do we go from knowing to doing?

Well, it just so happens I have a formula for that. Well, I’ve borrowed a formula for that from Brendon Burchard, author of the High Performance Habits.

We have to raise the necessity of obtaining these goals. No longer should we look at them as optional. Instead, they have to be NECESSARY.

So how do we change our thinking?  Start here…

There’s two types of forces that can change people: internal and external.

Internal are the motivators that we have inside of ourselves. It could be extreme desire, passion, or just expectation.

External forces are sources of motivation we get from outside pressures—other people or deadlines.

The key to increasing your necessity is to intensify these forces! BOTH of them!

Ok, that sounds great. But HOW???

Here’s what I want you to do:

First, check out this fancy Venn diagram. (I love a Venn diagram!) This easy picture shows you exactly what necessity is made up of.

So, all we have to do is get to the root of each one of these forces, and we are off to the races!




Secondly, I want you to write down these questions and answer them…thoughtfully!

Internal Forces

Are you expecting anything of yourself?
Are you expecting yourself to fail so you take it easy on yourself? Or are you expecting to push yourself and succeed, even when it gets hard?
Do you have a passion for what it is you want to do? Do you just have a simple desire to reach this goal?  Are you on a quest?
External Forces

Why do you want to reach this goal?
Who is counting on you to do this?
Is there a deadline for your goal?
What would happen if you do not reach it? How would that make you feel?
Ok, so I’ve asked you the questions that assess where you are right now.

How about the questions that will get you moving into an even more positive direction! Are you ready?

Write these down:

What do I expect from myself in regard to this goal?  Is your goal easily attainable? Or is it something you need to expect more of yourself for? (hint: try to expect more of yourself – Think BIG!)
How would your goal need to change to make you feel like you are on a quest to succeed? (hint—a quest is way more fun than “it would be nice if…”)
Who do you need to do this for? Who do you need to commit to so that you don’t have a choice? (hint—think positively. Example: I am going to finish this marathon for my Mom!)
What deadline can I put upon myself to make this REAL? (hint: PUSH yourself. If you want to launch a new program, sign clients up for it even if you don’t have it written yet. You’ll find the motivation once people are counting on you!)
Ok, you have the information you need. Are you excited? Ready to tackle that goal? (insert high-five here)

So do one teensy-eensy last little thing for me, will you?


One of my most favorite sayings is “if you hang out with chickens you’re going to cluck. And if you hang out with eagles you are going to soar!”

Who are you hanging out with?

Does your tribe bring you down?

Or does it push you to be better?

Does it believe in your success?

Or wonder why you are doing all these new things and dismiss you as crazy?


I’m not saying ditch all your friends. I’m saying find ONE new friend. Volunteer somewhere. Join a bookclub (like ours). Find a mentor.

It doesn’t require a mass exodus…just some refining.

Don’t commit to the SAME old goal, try the SAME old things, and be disappointed when you get the SAME old results.  Let 2021 be your year to soar.



Find a group of people who challenge and inspire you,

spend a lot of time with them, and it will change your life.

–  Amy Poehler



The best way to stretch those wings & soar? Join my Leadership Lab or Executive Coaching group. Get the motivation and necessity you need from other eagles, like yourself.


Email me at to find out the best option for you.

Cheyenne Bennett profile picture
Cheyenne Sweeney

Cheyenne’s passion for serving people is evident in her gift for engaging the entire management team – from the owner to key executives during business sessions. Always having an interest in self-awareness and leadership, she helps teams better understand their role in the overall business strategy and company culture. 

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